How I started to
like tolerate American Football...
Almost four years ago, I met
a man who loved the Chicago Bears. When we were first dating it was easy: if he wanted to watch his beloved Chicago Bears I would, well, do something else. But once cohabitation happened, the NFL season became unavoidable.
So he struck a deal: I'll cuddle you if we watch football.
It seemed harmless enough, but soon I wanted to know what was going on. (Damn you innate curiosity!) He started explaining the basics and I started making up my own interpretations. Especially for the referee calls. The "false start" motion became "Bossanova!" Someone called on "holding"? Oh no, that was now "fisting." Thankfully my male, football-watching friends find this amusing enough.
That's about as far as I've gotten with the NFL, though. What I've really sunk my teeth into is American Soccer/MLS. How did that happen? Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz, a guest blogger on Luis Arroyave's
Red Card blog, sums it up rather nicely in
today's post. She nails it and I swear she asked my boyfriend how he did it! In these five ways I've become a Chicago Fire fan. But that's another post for another day (or maybe an article one day).
Why did I tell you all this? Bascially because you need to know that I am not a typical sports fan. I create my own color commentary (as alluded to above) and find myself snarking about the players' hair, jewelry, shoes, etc. I don't always understand the game but I know bad hair when I see it.
He also, apparently, bathes with Jeff Reed. Although, this almost looks more like bedhead and lack of conditioner than electro-shock.
I found more bad hair this week, but this time in the NFL. I was watching the "dramatic" conclusion of Monday night's Steelers-Dolphins game when they showed the headshot of the Steelers' kicker, Jeff Reed. The man looks like he stuck his finger in an electric socket. It's amazing... how does he get his helmet on over that?
I also found a previous headshot of Jeff Reed. How did he go from helmet-ready to Yahoo Serious?
When I first started following the Chicago Fire, I was enamored of Nate Jaqua. But he left us for L.A. Galaxy (then Toronto FC... and Houston Dynamo (congratulations!)), so I needed a new soccer boyfriend (see #3 on Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz's list). I found one in Matty Pickens. The previous year Matt "Slim" Pickens was overlooked because of his very bad hair (left). He used to wear it with a headband, too. And he wasn't the only one! Poor Chris Rolfe (right) had the "soccer hair" as well. I know I've seen it around MLS and around the world. It's like a bad mullet. Wait, are there good mullets?
But something must have happened in the off-season. Perhaps the boys met some girls who were looking out for their best interests. Or maybe they just realized it was easier to play soccer without all that hair in their faces. To our left is Matty looking oh-so-lovely while he kisses his posts (a pre-game ritual). He has this other pre-game ritual of stretching that I adore as well. There's this one stretch that gets this girl all twitterpaited. (He also runs a travel agency so if you need a cruise, he's your man. I'll buy one from him if he comes with me.)
